This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
