white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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