I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
