fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
