he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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