evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
being pregnant is like rehab
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
