Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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