You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
