lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
