is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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