She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
