Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
