lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
