I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
