I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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