on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
