So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize