love makes seman taste better
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
