Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
