Say something about gay babies.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize