your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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