yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
