May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
