Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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