I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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