My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
