Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
