if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
