So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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