I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
