she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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