as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
