Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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