how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
this is an emotional support booty call
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
