i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
