He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
