Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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