I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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