dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
