I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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