Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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