when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize