I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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