There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
