I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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