Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
