im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
