Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
