remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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