Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At least make sure they are 18
Why
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
