Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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