I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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