so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize