Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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