Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
