So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize