Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
