areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
