oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize