Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
