Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
