That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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