I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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