He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
