fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
