o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize